If it is time to change habitual behavior in you or your child because it’s driving you crazy, it helps to understand that nobody likes change at first, even if it improves our lives.
Most children will amp up the bad behavior when a new limit is set. It is easy to get distracted from our goal when our child is having a tantrum because it is upsetting.
So when you set a new limit with an enforceable statement like, “I’d be happy to listen to you when you are not whining,” and your child goes to level two rebellion and starts yelling or crying, you can take a deep breath and know that he or she is just doing their job. Our job is to hold our ground in a loving way and follow through with whatever consequence fits, for as long as it takes our child to be clear that we will not be backing down.
These are not the most fun moments as a parent but the reward is a much happier home.
I like to think of these moments as ‘training sessions’ and they will be so much more effective if we are calm and not taking our child’s behavior personally or wondering if we are doing the right thing. It is especially important that we have our oxygen masks on during these training sessions if possible.
copywrite© 2006 by Leigh Scott. All rights reserved.