Calming the Selfish-Bitch Voices

Self-care is a tool that fosters awareness, balance, and the ability to be attuned to what we need. For instance, a mom named Paula, who had been working on this for awhile in one of my workshops, came in one day with a bit of a smug look on her face and just had to share her first big victory … Read More

A Love and Logic Technique for Teaching Respect

The invaluable added benefit of modeling self-care is what our children will learn from our example. One of my favorite techniques for cultivating self-care for everyone in the household is called the “Energy Drain.” It can be used as a consequence but it is also an excellent way to teach children and adults how to implement respect. When our child … Read More

Five Minutes’ Peace

A parent who can take just five minutes for themselves will handle a child’s tantrum more constructively than a stressed, tired or hungry parent. For instance, as you walk in the door after a long day of work, instead of being greeted by your angel children, one of them is screaming about the toy their brother just took from them … Read More

Happy Parents Happy Kids

Whether we are constantly nagging to get our children to do their chores or arguing with a teenager, applying self-care will improve our ability to be more effective parents and enjoy ourselves at the same time. According to Wendy Mogul, who wrote Blessings of a B Minus, a recent study reported the majority of teenagers saying, “I don’t want to … Read More

Self-Care is Counter Intuitive

Our society doesn’t model what it looks like to take care of ourselves from the inside out, therefore most of us find it hard to even justify applying self-care to our daily lives. Instead, we are bombarded with messages about how we can improve ourselves physically and materially from the magazine racks at the check-out stands in the market to … Read More

Self-Reflection Makes for Great Parenting

One of the unexpected benefits of my divorce in 1995, was the opportunity it gave me to step outside of the family system I had created with my husband. It allowed me to take responsibility for the effect my own parenting style had on my children. I now realized I had been going about the job of parenting in an … Read More

Nurturing Self is Key

Our society doesn’t model what it looks like to take care of ourselves from the inside out, therefore it is a hard concept to define. Instead, we are bombarded with messages about how we can improve ourselves physically and materially from the magazine racks at the check-out stands in the market to the ads on billboards and on television. They … Read More

Slowing Down Gives You More Time

Mindfulness begins with slowing down and stepping back to observe what we are actually doing, which wasn’t very easy for me because I was a speed demon, literally and figuratively. I have always had a lead foot, but because I didn’t want my teenagers to have the same lead foot I tried to slow my driving down before they learned … Read More

What is Mindfulness?

Slightly different from meditation, which is staying focused on one particular thing, mindfulness is using our mind to observe the activities of our mind and the physiological sensations in the body that ensue. Meditation fosters a sense of calm, while mindfulness can lead to the nature of the mind itself, giving us more choices in the way we live and … Read More

Why Learn About the Brain?

Why is learning about the brain and relationships a step in a parenting program? It is not only a step, but it is a central theme in my book because this is the knowledge that enlightened me as a parent when I found the work of a brilliant neuroscientist and psychotherapist, Dan Siegel. It was validating to have new brain … Read More