The Magic of Rewiring

Today, my son Nicholas is 26 and my daughter Codie is 24. As they were making their way out of the door into college and then the real world, I had finally gotten a handle on how to be a Loving Authority. My parenting certainly was not a disaster because they turned out to be exceptional people who are very … Read More

There is Strength in Numbers

It’s much easier for us to see our neighbor’s or friend’s issues more clearly than our own because our emotions are not in the equation. Most of the time there tends to be a “code of silence” when it comes to sharing our “dirty laundry as a parent,” but the benefits of knowing you are not alone far outweigh being … Read More

Expect a Practice Period

I found that for myself and the parents in my workshops, there is usually a period of frustration and confusion before habits start to change. It takes a lot of practicing new techniques before skills become second nature. This is an important step because new neural grooves need repetition to change from old habitual patterns. It doesn’t mean you have … Read More

Why Love and Logic?

I decided to make my home feel like a sanctuary for myself and my children so I could model what self-care looked like. We had a fire pit in the backyard that we used for lots of gatherings and games on the huge lawn. Cooking good food and playing our favorite music became fun hobbies for us. I also made … Read More

Back to Self-Care

When I asked my parenting coach how I could be the parent I really want to be, she said, “ You are already doing it by your willingness to look at yourself and identify what has to change and by getting the support you need to learn effective parenting skills. Then she asked, “What could you do to nurture yourself … Read More

Chidren as Teachers

As I started to observe myself I realized why setting limits and following through with consequences was so difficult for me. Because my parents weren’t very good at setting any limits at all, the only model I had were my strict grandparents and the way they delivered consequences seemed very mean to me. I had no model for the middle … Read More

When Automatic Pilot Doesn’t Work

I didn’t want to look at what might be wrong with my parenting but I did know that I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. Just stopping for a cup of tea seemed too stressful to enjoy. I knew from watching my mother that bending over backwards to run the household without taking better care of myself was not sustainable nor a … Read More

Defining Loving Authority

There is a middle ground between a hovering helicopter parent and a controlling drill sergeant (the extreme “tiger mom” style). It helps to know what that middle ground is since it’s nearly impossible to hit a target if you don’t know what you’re aiming for. I am calling it a Loving Authority and I define what that means. The first … Read More

Intuition continued…..

From our emotions, perceptions, actions, and bodily sensations, we create mental models that shape our expectations about the way the world works. All of this occurs without effort or intention, and our mental models can shape how we act without our awareness. As we shine light on our past experiences and make sense of the facts and autobiographical information, the … Read More

What Is Intuition?

Intuition is the word for how the higher brain centers give us access to the wisdom of the body. Our hearts have an extensive network of nerves that process complex information and relay data upward to the brain. So, too, do the intestines and all other major organ systems of the body. This neural tissue gets intricately woven with our … Read More